Way back in October, I made some observations about things the French love. Three months later, a wee bit savvier and god knows how many pounds of cheese given the grand tour of my digestive system, it’s time for an encore.
C’est parti. Here we go. The French love:
1) Coffee breaks. The school day goes from 8 a.m. to 6 p.m. (for the students, not for me), and at 10 a.m. it’s time for a ten-minute pause and a gobelet of coffee. (It’s not what you think, if you’re thinking what I was thinking. A gobelet is a little plastic cup that pops out of the coffee machine, not the decorated medieval goblet I was picturing.) During the morning pause, my favorite group of handymen comes into the teachers’ lounge for some coffee talk. They see me and smile, saying jovially, Bonjour! Comment vas-tu, la petite américaine? We stand by the windows with our gobelets, shooting the breeze like seasoned coffee drinkers, watching the students run around like maniacs. We chat about the weather and they ask me about life in Le Mee-soo-ree. They lament the fact that young people aren't learning to cook, because this means the demise of French culture.
2) Kissing. No no, not that kind. The other kind: la bise – the Kiiiiiss. Upon saying hello and goodbye, the French faire la bise by exchanging kisses on alternating cheeks, touching cheek-to-cheek, not lips-to-cheek – an important detail to avoid sending mixed signals. You also have to be careful not to swipe lips as you go for the other side. La bise is done by old friends and complete strangers alike – two people introduced by a mutual friend often faire la bise, particularly young people. Consequently, I’ve been in shockingly close contact with more French garcons (dudes) than my mother would probably care to know. For them, c’est normale, c’est la politesse. The amusing part comes when a person joins or leaves a large group and is expected to make the rounds, often taking four or five minutes to cheek-air-kiss each person goodbye. A word of advice: build some time into your departure if you’re on a tight schedule. Or say you’re sick.
3) Singing in English. Just picture it: International Karaoke Night. The players: American, Bolivian, English, German, Italians, Taiwanese, and a handful of French representing the Motherland. After snacking on quiche and Italian-made pizza, I stood up and popped in the karaoke DVD. Alright, who’s going first? I asked. No one moved a muscle. I clicked through the songs, choices were slim! and landed on “Like A Virgin.” How’s this? I asked, and got a collective nod of approval. Turns out they knew EVERY word. Same thing happened with Alicia Keyes and the Beatles. Edith Piaf and Claude Francois (wrote "Comme d'habitude,” the original version of Sinatra’s "My Way”) were also hits, but what was the loudest-sung song of the night? Queen’s “Bohemian Rhapsody.” France (and the world, dare I say) is inundated and infatuated with English music. What does it mean? Analysis forthcoming.
4) Pronouncing foreign words with heavy French accents. You can’t get the full effect here, but I can offer you a few to try on for size: Mar-tahn Lu-ter Keeng (the man). Le bon fee-leeng (to have a good feeling about something). Look-y Strike (cigarettes). Le pla-neeng (a schedule). Sahn Louie (gateway to the west). Wait – that's French that we make a mess of. And then there’s renday-voo, day-zha voo, bon appa-teet…and zee leest gohz on.
5) Vacation. Everyone loves vacation, but the French LOVE vacation. They have quite a lot of it and talk about it nearly as much. The calendar revolves around les vacances scolaires (granted, I'm working in a high school). But I do think there's something behind this Spanish proverb: "It is best to be born in Italy, to live in France, and to die in Spain." I can't speak to an Italian birth or a Spanish death, but I can say that life in France is slower than the on-the-go lifestyle many Americans lead. Slower doesn't mean better, but it does mean more coffee breaks.
Well would you look at that, time for a goblet o' Joe. I'd kiss you all goodbye but I have somewhere to be tomorrow.
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